The police were out in force, sirens flashing everywhere
I didn't understand, I couldn't see how it was fair
I suppose it was my punishment for being such a fool
And I still regret the day that I peed in the swimming pool.

Very soon the whole world knew, I was on the evening news
Thousands came to talk to me, the journalists formed queues
I was being sent to jail, because I broke the golden rule
That at no cost must you ever pee in someone's swimming pool.

They collected water samples, fingerprints and DNA
And told me I was guilty; there was nothing I could say
I supposed that prison couldn't be a whole lot worse than school
But I wished beyond all words that I had not peed in the pool.

I was locked indoors all morning, I broke rocks all afternoon
It was torturing my mind, I really hoped I'd get out soon
We ran on treadmills every day, they fed us all on gruel
I suppose it was fair punishment for peeing in the pool.

They gave me a life sentence, I was never coming out
I slumped against the wall, just had to wail and scream and shout
For though life always seems to be so terrible and cruel
It can get a whole lot worse if you pee in the swimming pool.