ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
The police were out in force, sirens flashing everywhere
I didn't understand, I couldn't see how it was fair
I suppose it was my punishment for being such a fool
And I still regret the day that I peed in the swimming pool.
Very soon the whole world knew, I was on the evening news
Thousands came to talk to me, the journalists formed queues
I was being sent to jail, because I broke the golden rule
That at no cost must you ever pee in someone's swimming pool.
They collected water samples, fingerprints and DNA
And told me I was guilty; there was nothing I could say
I supposed that prison couldn't be a whole lot worse than school
But I wished beyond all words that I had not peed in the pool.
I was locked indoors all morning, I broke rocks all afternoon
It was torturing my mind, I really hoped I'd get out soon
We ran on treadmills every day, they fed us all on gruel
I suppose it was fair punishment for peeing in the pool.
They gave me a life sentence, I was never coming out
I slumped against the wall, just had to wail and scream and shout
For though life always seems to be so terrible and cruel
It can get a whole lot worse if you pee in the swimming pool.
I didn't understand, I couldn't see how it was fair
I suppose it was my punishment for being such a fool
And I still regret the day that I peed in the swimming pool.
Very soon the whole world knew, I was on the evening news
Thousands came to talk to me, the journalists formed queues
I was being sent to jail, because I broke the golden rule
That at no cost must you ever pee in someone's swimming pool.
They collected water samples, fingerprints and DNA
And told me I was guilty; there was nothing I could say
I supposed that prison couldn't be a whole lot worse than school
But I wished beyond all words that I had not peed in the pool.
I was locked indoors all morning, I broke rocks all afternoon
It was torturing my mind, I really hoped I'd get out soon
We ran on treadmills every day, they fed us all on gruel
I suppose it was fair punishment for peeing in the pool.
They gave me a life sentence, I was never coming out
I slumped against the wall, just had to wail and scream and shout
For though life always seems to be so terrible and cruel
It can get a whole lot worse if you pee in the swimming pool.
Literature
Pain
Hangs from your spine
like an incomplete, conjoined sibling
with no mind of its own
but enough of yours to make you fear it.
Comes when you are sleeping
to perch on your face and dip its beak
redly into your dreams.
Shucks its claws
on the upholstery of your flesh.
Is a fog-eyed poet, reading aloud to you
endless reams of his own passionate,
excruciating verse.
Squats in the waste it has made of you,
a basilisk-child
you dare not look in the eye.
Remembers the body when it moved
with the ease of light across a lakes delicate skin.
Watches your babies grow
skins so thick they cant feel you.
Is an illusion
overcome
Literature
No-one forgets a good teacher
"Listen to me or I'll break your legs"
- Steve Thompson
Dear Sir. Not sir. It's automatic.
Sorry Steve. Dear Steve. I'm fed
On seven years of autocratic
Tiffinisms: "genuflect
to teachers." Seven years' emphatic
Faire-sans-dire still in my head.
Dear Steve. Your style was more dramatic
you taught life and art instead:
Stoppard, condoms, mathematics,
goatee beards and Berthold Brecht
and Bigmouth Strikes Again, such is
what you gave us, plus the threat
of a half a term on crutches
for ignoring you. Dear Steve - respect.
Literature
Unfinal Solution
Jim and Dave shuffled down the street in the hot summer sun. Occasionally they would encounter an obstacle, such as a shopping cart, corpse, pile of trash, or burned out car. Depending on the size and nature of the obstacle, their zombie intellect would kick over into high gear, and a conversation such as this might ensue:
Braaaaaaaaaaains
.
Rains! Rains! Raaaaaaaains1
.
Brains
.
If the object was large, such as a chunk of flaming airplane wreckage, Jim and Dave would do the Zombie Shuffle around its perimeter, sometimes bumping into each other and the obs
Suggested Collections
This is for 's poetry contest, 'Humour'. ^^ [link]
There is a harsh lesson to be learned from this poor guy's experience, and I hope you will never even consider peeing in the pool again XD.
There is a harsh lesson to be learned from this poor guy's experience, and I hope you will never even consider peeing in the pool again XD.
Comments202
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
My sort of poem! Seems a pretty just punishment, although hanging might have been a good option. Glad I hate swimming.